I smell Wedding Season.

I am now beginning to regret my decision in not attending the gym when I really should have. It is wedding season and my irrational dislike towards my arms; and other wobbly areas that make up the composition of my body, is making it incredible hard to find a dress.

Many brands attempts, at the perfect wedding guest outfit would consume my 5’2 self in lace and tulle which is something only suitable to be seen on 3-year-old flower girls, and not my adult self. I absolutely love eating marshmallows, but I don’t want to look like one; especially if there is photographic evidence.

Working in the wedding industry highlighted how many brides dislike their guests wearing the same colour gowns as themselves, which is perfectly reasonable as it is the biggest day of their lives to date and they want to look like the Queens they are.  But as my luck would have it, the only dresses that have ignited a passion in my soul have been Ivory (maybe because I know the colour is out of bounds it makes it more desirable?). However, the idea of making a bride unhappy on the biggest day of their life is not something I aspire to do… and I value my life.

There are so many factors that need to be accounted for when picking the perfect dress… it cannot be backless as I don’t want the torture device that secures my girls into place on show. A plunge neckline is a no-go because fleshy spillages are only popular on Page 3 of The Sun and this is a family occasion after all. Anything too tight around my hips will result in something resembling Hulk when he gets mad and the list continues leaving me with only a sack as a valid alternative.

I of course am being a little dramatic BUT I am starting to lose hope… As I scroll through the wedding guest edits on all of the top brands, its either take one for the team and spend the next 50+ years at family occasions looking like a potato or sinning and wearing something casual, which is the girl I am at heart.

Have fun out there!


Pipedream x


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