No Chill

Being told to ‘chill’ and responding with ‘I am’ is a new level of small talk I am starting to embrace. You always see those memes of Kim K wailing on social media with the caption “No Chill” but the more I looked into the meaning of ‘No Chill’ the more I realised that this is relatable thing, which has probably affected all of us at some point.

I always feel like ‘No Chill’ really comes into play when I am trying to impress someone either professionally or because I am a big fan of theirs OR because I’m so attracted to them, my rational mind is void.

My top 10 scenarios of having ‘No Chill’ are as follows…

  1. When you exchange numbers, you know things are getting a little spicy. They reply and you text back immediately, or you want too but shouldn’t because society has this rule where you should leave it a casual 2 minutes + before replying to keep things ‘Chill’ and to not seem too interested (am I the only one that missed the ‘How to be chill’ memo…) because I spend that interval internally debating with myself HOW TO BE CHILL.
  2. When you don’t see the speech bubble (with 3 dots inside) appear precisely 2 minutes 1 second after your reply, you jump to conclusions and think that that person has 0 interest in you. I will then either take the time to have a mini breakdown or send an emoji to remind them I still exist… NO CHILL

  4. Double texting is a big sin and screams ‘No Chill’. It’s apparently not professional and it is deemed too full on, however when you are in panic mode (which is how I spend half of my life), your brain splurges on short, staccato sentences which 9 times out of 10 don’t even make sense and consist of completely different subject matters. “You have great hair… how many dogs do you have? I really like cows…”
  5. You cannot just go with the flow. You are consumed with nervous energy, completely envious or in awe of people that can breeze through life without experiencing daily neuroticism/ anxiety. E.g. Being invited somewhere on the same day is a no no, you need precisely 1 week 6 hours to plan your outfit, rule out possible conversations (with how you would react) and mentally prepare yourself to be ‘Chill’.
  6. You are also completely upfront and have 0 brain to mouth filters, which usually results in a lack of finesse when it comes to admitting your feelings for someone or expressing gratitude. “You have a lovely face, I’ll keep you… wait, I mean you’re not a possession, you are your own person…” *Nervous laughter*
  7. Compliments usually turn into a full on life story as to why the compliment is void, “You have lovely eyes…” “Well actually I don’t because my cat once scratched my face and distorted my eye and now its wonky and I look uneven…” and then you feel really stupid because they were trying to be nice, and now you have basically made it appear like you think their opinions are rubbish. So stressful.
  8. You manage varying levels of stress and self doubt by appearing disinterested, usually with a resting bitch face, when internally you are having a melt-down unable to function like a civilised human being.

  9. Keyboard spasms are a legit form of communication, especially if someone has told you important news/gossip… Friend: “I’m in a relationship” Me: !!!???233!”##
  10. But really having ‘No Chill’ is because you are emotional, caring or generally happy to have those people in your life/excited to be alive.

Is having ‘No Chill’ really such a bad thing? I know that the only reason I have 0 Chill is because I whole heartedly care too much, and I’m just enthusiastic and really appreciative of having that person or moment in my life. Life is too short.

Have fun out there.


Pipedream xx


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