My life choices are the complete cause of my current existence; I’m the type of person that scrolls through insta feeds dedicated to smoothies and slim figures, aspiring to look that good too, to go to my fridge and devour the left over Cadbury’s chocolate which I started hours prior. Of course, this said example results in me crying on the floor as my jeans make me look like a potato in drag. But my point is that my life choices start with good intentions and finish in humiliation and defeat.
*Enter the cynical aspect of my personality (which makes up 78% of my being)*
I haven’t gone to university, my C.V. resembles headphones in a knot and the stale air that makes up 90% of my brain space makes me act irrationally and impulsively resulting in my current career.
For anyone blissfully unaware, I am a Housemistress within a Boarding School, where I eat, sleep, work and cry myself to sleep due to my existence. I work silly hours, sacrifice my identity and being, and have a whole day dedicated to scratching back my existence in which I compromise for sleep – otherwise I’m a walking corpse for the following 6 days of work.
*Takes a breath*
I remember applying for this role and I also remember not taking it seriously that they then wanted to hire me. It was desperation on both fronts that I accepted. I was running away from my previous life (story for another time) and they were in desperate need of filling a position undesired by many of a suitable calibre. Impulsive and irrational.
I moved in as a fresh-faced 20 year old, with no real life experience – completely naive in regards to the human race. Looking back, it was the best and worst thing I could have ever done…
Here is my Top 10 list of things I’ve learnt from being a Housemistress within my first and last boarding school:
Disclaimer: some of my next points ARE based on my current working environment and can be unreliable representations of Housemistress roles within other boarding schools.
1. The kids are not what you should fear; it’s your colleagues. Before my first day, I was sick with nerves, contemplating that the kids would hate me and I would be compromising my colleagues’ roles. Reality: the kids are joys, the colleagues (some not all) are not.
2. If you are running away from your life, alone in this bleak world (*cough – Spinsters – cough*) or are needing a British Passport, this role is for you. You will have no time to yourself, or energy/inclination to do anything other than your job/sleep. *Waves goodbye to alcohol, frivolous adventures and sex*
3. Working 9-5 and feeling tired is not the same exhaustion as 17 hour shifts, 6 days a week, with a forced sunny disposition whilst running a tennis activity session, purely fuelled by your own adrenaline.
*Put that coffee down ye olde office worker*
I actually daydream about the 9-5 grind with weekends off. *sighs*
4. Wave goodbye to weekends, they no longer exist.
5. If you are female, blonde and can do your job – you are seen as a threat and will therefore be isolated and subjected to a harder work-load and your emotional/physical well-being will be compromised. *Stop whining you millennial snowflake*
6. Misogyny exists. Some Boarding schools have a very “traditional” view on a woman’s place in society, and it’s not in the work place. Soz for gracing you with my vagina pals and undermining your penis.
7. You will take part in “evening activities” that will make you question whether the schools Health & Safety policies and risk assessments are legit. And if not, who’s to blame if something goes wrong? *shuffles awkwardly*
8. I never liked school dinners, and I continue to support this.
9. Emotional eating will help you survive Easter Term.
10. NEVER date a colleague.
I am a case of your classic cliché where I’ll proceed to describe my time as a House Mistress as a rollercoaster, whilst looking thoughtfully into the distance. There were some bloody highs (which I am so GRATEFUL to have experienced) but the lows have impacted my character negatively and I need to move on.
I’m getting flee-itis where the greener pastures are luring me over the bridge, however the little troll that is life, has left me all indecisive, insecure and unsure of what I am needing to do to be allowed onto the greener pastures.
I have no degree, a chaotic C.V. and ambitions too large for my shoulders to carry. I’m desperate for a door to open.
Have fun out there!